Oui, Oui, we love, love! Nothing says ‘amour’ than deux becoming one! And there is no better place than to get married than in Paris, “The City of Love.” So this month of amour and for Franglais Stories, we are delighted to feature
… Laura Montorio–The Paris Officiant!
Pictured: Laura Montorio, The Paris Officiant
O.O.J.S.F: En Français, what’s love?
L.M: “Aimer, c’est vivre ; aimer, c’est voir ; aimer, c’est être!” (Victor Hugo)
O.O.J.S.F: Why are the reasons that couples elope?
L.M: First, some couples don’t see the point in spending a lot of money for a wedding back home with all the bells and whistles. An elopement is far more affordable – and at the same time the couple gets to travel and explore Paris together.
Moreover, some couples are shy and don’t like so much showing of their feelings in front of many people. During an elopement ceremony, they can share an intimate moment – just the two of them – to exchange their vows and celebrate their love.
O.O.J.S.F: What was one of the memorable weddings that you have officiated?
L.M: One of the most memorable ceremonies I officiated was a German-Korean wedding: Many of the guests met for the first time and amongst some of them, there was a language barrier. We incorporated German poems and traditional Korean Wedding Rituals into the wedding ceremony to pay tribute to both side of the family.
I really like intercultural weddings where the bride and groom have different cultural backgrounds and/or languages. It is so enriching to incorporate wedding traditions of both cultures and hear readings in different languages. The families really appreciate to celebrate their roots: They are proud to share their own traditions and curious to experience other cultures. In these cases the ceremony really opens up lines of communications and unites families!
O.O.J.S.F: What was one of the sweetest love stories you have heard/seen?
L.M: One of the greatest love stories was of a couple that celebrated their wedding ceremony together with their kids in Paris. It was actually a ceremony celebrating love, life and family as the whole family was already going through hard times together: Originally the couple was about to plan their wedding in the US when they received the news that their son was sick with cancer. They immediately called their wedding off in order to fully focus on their son’s treatment and recovery. For a couple of years, they were practically living at the hospital supporting their son, fighting the cancer. When their son got better, they decided to travel to Paris together as a whole family to celebrate that they conquered the disease and that they managed to go through such rough times together as a couple and as a family because of their strong and enduring love. This couple was full of joy and love and such an inspiration and a living proof that love can conquer everything!
More about their story: http://www.theparisofficiant.com/eiffel-tower-ceremony-family-rituals/
O.O.J.S.F: What languages do you speak?
L.M: English, French, German, Italian, and Chinese.
O.O.J.S.F: There’s this trend of women proposing to their significant others. Do you think society will embrace this?
L.M: I hope so, and I don’t see any good reason why society shouldn’t embrace it! Why should only men have the privilege or duty to take the relationship to the next level? If we are talking about equality it also concerns all this small things in every day life and how we perceive love, relationship and gender roles/expectations. I asked my husband to marry me because I felt that we reached this level in our relationship and it was the good moment. I didn’t propose with a ring though, I just told him how much I loved him and asked him to marry me – and he said yes! 😉
O.O.J.S.F: Which do you prefer…
Power of words vs power of actions?
L.M: Both, because one isn’t very powerful without the other! We need to be clear about what we want and how we want to get there – and that works very well with words (e.g. by writing your personal wedding vows). If you are clear about what you want you have to put into action permanently (e.g. honoring your wedding vows). When you promise with words, “I will be there for you!” then it’s just powerful if actions are following and you are really there we the other one feels down, is sick, sad or defeated.
O.O.J.S.F: Power of rituals vs power of trends?
L.M: Rituals! I think we forgot about the power of rituals in our modern times. We are rushing from one excitement to the next and don’t give ourselves the time to “digest” our experiences. That’s one of the reasons why we so often feel disconnected – from ourselves, from others, from the world. Rituals give us the chance to pause for a moment and reflect upon what we actually want and why. Rituals allow us to consciously realize a decision and mark a transition in our lives. A wedding ceremony contains many different rituals such as the exchange of wedding rings or saying your wedding vows. These rituals are meant to help you take this step into a new chapter of life in full awareness.
O.O.J.S.F: What’s your cultural background?
L.M: I hold a dual citizenship: My mum is German, my dad is Italian. I had the privilege to grow up with different cultures and languages and to live in seven different countries so far. All these cultures and experiences certainly left their traces. Then 12 years ago, I met this cute French guy who is now my husband. I moved to Paris and France feels like home now.
Aimer, c’est vivre ; aimer, c’est voir ; aimer, c’est être!” (Victor Hugo)
O.O.J.S.F: Were you always a wedding officiant?
L.M: No, I worked as a journalist before becoming a wedding officiant. As a journalist, I developed skills that are useful now as a celebrant, such as writing and storytelling.
O.O.J.S.F: What do you like about Paris?
L.M: The culture: Music, art, theatre – the offer is abundant and I could easily fill my days only going to exhibitions, concerts, performances and so on! I also like the openness, tolerance and laissez-faire attitude of most Parisians. In Paris, there is an acceptance for people from very different backgrounds and with different projects and dreams.
O.O.J.S.F: Why do you think couples elope to Paris?
L.M: Because Paris is for many people the epitome of romance! Everyone already saw movies, heard songs, read books that represent Paris as the city of love. So Paris is the perfect place to experience romance and celebrate love.
O.O.J.S.F: What would you recommend for people to see or do in Paris?
L.M: Three things: Walk, eat, watch!
- Walk: Discover the city by walking! Paris’ charm lies also in all the little things that you best discover when you wander off the beaten tracks. You will discover picturesque side streets with cute café and original shops, you will find historic architecture and modern street art, you will get a new perspective on the famous landmarks.
- Eat your way through Paris. And I don’t only mean the traditional French cuisine and bakery pastries. Paris has great cuisine from all over the world.
- Don’t miss the culture! Go to the movies, watch a theatre play or dance performance, listen to the street musicians and go to a concert, visit exhibitions and galleries – it’s impressive how much Paris has to offer!
O.O.J.S.F: What does it take to be an officiant?
L.M: You have to have a feeling for other people! That means you need to be sensitive, empathetic, trustworthy. I need to be able to put my couples at ease on and before their big day and make them feel good and safe with me. Because most of the time we cannot even meet in person prior to their wedding!
You also need to be very organized, have good writing and storytelling skills and enjoy performing in front of many people!
O.O.J.S.F: Can you give us tips on how to be romantic?
L.M: Hahaaa, absolutely! Being romantic means paying attention and really listening to the other one and genuinely showing them how much they mean to you! If you do that, everything can be romantic: a picnic at the Seine riverside, watching starts from a Parisian rooftop, dancing to the tunes of a street musician or watching an old French movie on the couch with a bottle of red wine. Being right here, right now and letting the other one feel how much they are loved – for me that’s the key to being romantic!
O.O.J.S.F: Can you give us tips on how to stay, married?
L.M: Attention: Again, really and fully listen to what your partner shares with you without judging or giving a good advice.
Respect: Don’t try to change your partner, ridicule their wishes or overstep their boundaries!
Communicate: There will be fights! But you should never stop communicating even if you are hurt or feel misunderstood. Try to work through it to find a solution or compromise.
Closeness: Hold hand, kiss, cuddle, hug, be close as much and often as you can! It’s these intimate gestures that strengthen your bond independently of all other challenges.
Accept change: If you plan to share your life together you have to embrace change, which you will necessarily encounter. Keep your heart open for the flow of life.
O.O.J.S.F: Can you give us tips on writing vows?
L.M: Yes, and as you are definitely not the first one asking, so I wrote up a little tutorial here: http://www.theparisofficiant.com/personal-wedding-vows/
O.O.J.S.F: There’s this notion that when women are not married at a certain age, then there’s something wrong with them (women). How can that perspective change?
L.M: Luckily, times are over when a women’s only mission in life was to get married and to give birth to a son and heir for which reason they had to be young! I am very thankful that women nowadays are independent and can choose what they want to do with their lives – and when. If someone still thinks that women have to get married young then that just shows their narrow mindedness and fear of an independent and confident woman. To all women confronted with that: I know it can be painful mainly when it comes from someone you love. But it’s your life, do your thing and don’t let them spoil your party! As women, we cannot wait until others change and make it easy for us – we have to be the change!
O.O.J.S.F: Do you think less people are getting married now than generations before?
L.M: Yes, there are less people getting married nowadays than generations before simply because they don’t have to get married anymore in order to live together or have a family together. Most couples who are getting married today, they do it because it’s their wish to celebrate their love and less because they feel obliged.
O.O.J.S.F: Where are the romantic spots in Paris?
L.M: Rooftops, the Seine riverside and rooms in old and tiny hotels – even if you actually live in Paris!
O.O.J.S.F: How do you use literature in your line of work?
L.M: I often incorporate poems, extracts of novels and literature quotes into my ceremonies. I read a lot to find inspiration. I am a real bookworm, literature is my passion and my major at university was comparative literature.
Instagram: @lifestorieswedding Website: Lifestorieswedding
O.O.J.S.F: What are you reading at the moment?
L.M: Personal growth: “Real Love” by Sharon Salzberg
Non-fiction: “How the French invented Love” by Marilyn Yalom
Poetry: “Sea of Strangers” by Lang Leav
O.O.J.S.F: How does Paris inspire you?
L.M: I always discover something new in Paris. I love strolling through Paris with my eyes wide open. Culture and art inspire me, same as love stories. And as lovers are drawn to Paris you can encounter an abundance of love stories here.
177 — of love stories officiated — Countless — of kisses witnessed and bottles popped…
you too can create your love story with…
The Paris Officiant ( ’The Paris Officiant’ http://www.
