[su_quote]La femme est l’être le plus parfait entre les créatures ; elle est une créature transitoire entre l’homme et l’ange. – Honoré de Balzac.[/su_quote]

This month’s Franglais Stories, I chatted with Mame Awa M’Baye about the role of women, her move back to Senegal and self-care.

So Awa, as I fondly call her was my first contact to Senegalese food, dance and music. She has moved quite a lot and recently moved back to Senegal to achieve her childhood dream of working for the UN and contribute to the development of Africa. She is a Finance Officer at the International Fund for Agricultural Development (IFAD), a specialized United Nations agency dedicated to eradicating rural poverty and hunger. Awa is responsible for overseeing project financial management practices including financial reporting, audit, project liquidity management and fiduciary compliance in IFAD-funded projects for a portfolio of countries in West and Central Africa.

O.O.J.S.F: March was Women’s Month and April 2nd was Equal Pay Day. How do you see the role of women progressing in today’s society?

M.A.M: A month to me seems extremely minuscule for the celebration of women given our role in society.  Most importantly, I believe that just the simple fact that there is the discussion about women celebration is symptomatic of a problem.  It shows that equality between men and women in today’s society is still not a reality. We should aim to arrive at a point where pay is not dependent on your gender, to where your success is not dependent on your gender, but most importantly to where our little girls are not made to believe that they cannot achieve certain things just because they were born female.  

While we are working towards that which I dream of, a society where men and women are fully equal, I believe that women should be celebrated year-round.  Not just through simple parties where they are all dressed alike (in the case of Senegal), or in the form of an annual forum (often the case for development agencies) but most importantly through having continuous dialogues about the plight of women and finding structural solutions to barriers placed in front of us.

O.O.J.S.F: Do you think there has been advancements in the livelihoods of women?

M.A.M: There have indeed been great advancements in the livelihoods of women. If I simply compare situation, my independence, my opportunities to that of my grandmothers I am amazed by the large differences.    Both of them were extremely brave stay at home mothers without any formal schooling. I on the other hand have been privileged enough to get a higher education.

O.O.J.S.F: How many languages do you speak? What are they? And do you find difficulty being multilingual?

M.A.M: I speak three languages fluently; Wolof my mother-tongue, English being raised and schooled in the US and French from having lived in Belgium for nearly 10 years.

I believe that language is an important tool in today’s multinational society. Being multilingual is a blessing both professionally and personally. It has contributed to my befriending of folks from different backgrounds and for that I am truly fortunate. I always brag that none of my friends look alike or are from the same origins. This is something that I try to instill in my children whom are also multilingual.

O.O.J.S.F: What’s on your playlist? Or any song you would like for readers to listen to!

M.A.M: Although I love music, I must admit that I have not really been listening much of it during the past year.  So let me just suggest my nearly 2-year-old daughter’s favorite song: Djadja by Aya Nakamura.

O.O.J.S.F: If you could write a letter to your 12-year-old self, what would it start with?

M.A.M: My first two sentences to younger Awa would be, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and YOU ARE WORTHY. Having suffered a lot of emotional abuse at a very young age, I felt completely worthless at 12.  Happy that I grew up to understand my struggles do not define me, but what defines me is how I overcame them.

O.O.J.S.F: How do you culturally identify yourself?

M.A.M: I have always struggled with this. Not in the sense that I do not know who I am, but more so that I believe that human beings are too complex to be labeled.

I am a byproduct of multiple cultures and cherish each one of them.  Thanks to my diversified background, I am able to connect with folks from all walks of life.  Ultimately, I am African, I am American and I am European. Each of these continents has greatly contributed to the person I am today.  I thank Africa for my sense of community, I thank America for my confidence and the belief that anything is possible, and I thank Europe for teaching me the importance of a healthy work-life balance.

O.O.J.S.F: What does it mean to be a woman?

M.A.M: Being a woman means I am strong, I am a survivor, and it means that I am able to do a million things at once and do them well.  I can cook, clean, help my son with his homework all while lifting a friend’s spirits on the phone. Most importantly, it means that I am the backbone of society because we all know that without women the world crumbles ☺

O.O.J.S.F: What does it mean to be a mother?

M.A.M: Being a mother is my greatest accomplishment. Through my pregnancies, I learned that women are extremely resilient beings.  To have a human growing inside of you and being able to bond with them before they arrive on earth is a true blessing. My children are my motivators.  They are at the root of all of my decisions as my ultimate goal is for them not to encounter half my struggles. My wish for them is to go to the best schools, to be part of the next generation of leaders for the African continent but most importantly to be happy in whatever they choose to dedicate themselves.

O.O.J.S.F: What advise do you have for women or mothers?

M.A.M: My advice is for working mothers; I believe that we often feel guilty about not spending enough time with our children because of work obligations.  It is imperative to understand that it is not the quantity but the quality of time that we spend with our children that matters. At first, I greatly wrestled with this feeling, especially on those long days in the office where you get home and the kids are already in bed.  I had to learn and understand that we are there for them when it matters and that is all our children care about. For them, what ultimately matters is, knowing that they can count on mommy whenever they need her.

[su_pullquote align=”right”]O.O.J.S.F: Fun facts about yourself?

I have lived in four countries, I studied Dutch for 2 years and still can barely hold a conversation in the language and I love to dance especially at home with the kids and the hubby. [/su_pullquote]

O.O.J.S.F: Where should we visit and what to do when in Senegal and Belgium?

M.A.M: For Senegal, one should definitely visit Goree Island, a tiny picturesque island off the coast of Senegal mainly known for its role in the Atlantic slave trade.  Afterwards, I suggest a road trip to Joal-Fadiouth, in my opinion the most beautiful village in Senegal also illustrative of the larger Senegal where Muslims and Christians live in harmony.

For Belgium, visit the Citadel in Namur from which at a glance you see the Confluence of the Meuse and the Sambre rivers.  One of the most beautiful sites I have ever seen in my life.

O.O.J.S.F: What word or mantra do you try to live by each day?

M.A.M: Do not let people change you.  I think sometimes we have a tendency to retaliate when people mistreat us.  However, as you’re retaliating you are actually becoming that which you detest.  Basically, keep being yourself and do not let anyone negatively change you.

O.O.J.S.F: What is a day like for you?

M.A.M: I travel a lot for work.  But on the days that I am home, I wake up in the morning, drop my son off to school, head to work, come home to make dinner, get the kids to bed and if time permits, I watch a bit of news before heading to bed.

O.O.J.S.F: What does self-care mean to you?

M.A.M: As you can see in the previous question, I have been pretty bad at dedicating some time to myself.  Self-care has been the least of my worries in the midst of recently moving back to Senegal due to this new position and struggling a bit getting readjusted to the country after over 25 years abroad.  I was struggling with an environment that I found chaotic, unable to understand the lack of structure.

When my husband stated that he noticed the country changing me, a change that I too have noticed, I knew something had to be done. I have since enrolled myself for boxing lessons, which has been an amazing stress reliever.  

As working moms, it is important to make some time for ourselves.  We are busy running around taking care of others and forget about us in the process. A lot of people depend on us for emotional and mental support, so it is vital that we also take care of ourselves.

[su_pullquote align=”right”] Did you know that France’s new spokesperson is of Senegalese descent?

Oui, Oui, Sibeth Ndiaye, the new government spokeswoman, was born in Dakar, Senegal.[/su_pullquote]